Crazy is as crazy does...

That is true. If you're crazy, you do crazy things. Thankfully, I am learning to not be so crazy. Notice I said learning. I haven't achieved perfection....but I am learning. ha ha!

My husband has been coming around a little more often. He's spending more time with the kids. That's good, the kids really enjoy it. He and I have had some opportunities to talk as well. Some have been productive..some just crazy. lol! I think he's crazy at times. But hey, that's normal given his track record with me. Either way, I have been praying for wisdom to discern whats just crazy and what's not. So far, I think God has been faithful to help me with that. I told Fidel that I was content being on my own. I sometimes get lonely...that's normal. But overall, I have found a contentedness in taking care of myself and the kids and being on my own. I am thankful that God has brought me to this point cause it wasn't always this way. Truth is, I can see that I am okay on my own and I am okay if God should choose to restore the marriage. either way...God is with me. And that has proven to make all the difference in the world. I can't say one way or the other what will happen down the road. i can only pray for God's will and the power to carry that out. =) I leave the outcome to Him. What I can say is that right now....I am content to be on my own and that's okay with me. =)


God bless and goodnight.

Memorial Day

Today's Memorial Day. I am thankful for the men and women who have sacrificed so much for this country.

It's been a fun week for my family. On Friday, Rebekah and I got to join my brother in law and my sis in law at Great Wolf Lodge. They had spent the night on Thursday and I had kept my niece and nephew for them. They were kind enough to share the water park fun on Friday. So, after taking Josh to school, I packed the rest of the kids up and we headed to the hotel. Rebekah is getting better and better with her "swimming" in a life jacket. We had a lot of fun! So...thanks Philip and Anna. That night, I got to hang with my parents. that's always nice....we hung out, laughed. It was a great evening for a great day. Since Josh didn't get to go to the hotel, Del took him out to a movie and to play some arcade games at Grapevine Mills mall. Josh loved the time with daddy.

Today, we hit the pool again in my neighborhood. The Ramirez family came over, we had a yummy lunch, and then soaked up some rays at the pool. It was fun! Maybe before summer is over...I will have a decent tan. For a white girl!! lol

My sister Shannon is getting closer and closer to having my nephew. I am getting really excited. I even put Fidel on baby notice....which means that at a moment's notice I call him to get the kids so I can go to the hospital to be with my twin. woo hoo! I can't wait to meet him. =)

Well, that's it for now. Maybe I will post some more later!!
God bless!

=)

I left the title a smiley face. Mostly because I didn't know what else to title this. It's been a few days since I last updated.
We hit the pool yesterday. It was nice. The kids are old enough to play on the steps of the pool while I recline in the chair to get some rays. Mind you, my eyes are wide open and staring at my kids....so I'm not dozing or anything. But it's nice to know they can follow directions now that they are older. I got a little sun, they got a little play time. =)
Life continues to move on. Fidel sees the kids on a fairly regular basis. They still pray for him every night. And occasionally ask to call him. Rebekah asks for him occasionally..usually when shes in trouble with me or doesn't want to go to sleep. lol
I am finishing up my stint with tutoring tomorrow. I will have about 2 weeks off before summer school starts. Whew...I am thankful for a job...but NOT looking forward to rising and shining at 5:30 in the morning. bleh!!! =)

Well, time to catch up on the season finale of 24...
God bless,

My kids

So, life continues on for us. I feel that I am adjusting fairly well to single-parenting and being on my own. In moments of frustration, sadness, lonliness I try to do some positive reflecting. I read my Bible, do a devotion or read a good book. I remember (try to anyway) that God is working all things out to His good....my job is to trust Him, take care of myself and the kids, and take life one day at a time. Most of the time, this works. Most of the time. ;) I am noticing more ups than downs as well. This is encouraging. I heard it once said...live life on life's terms. Interesting.....

Rebekah was invited by my bff to spend the night the other night. Liz has 2 girls of her own..Makenna and Kaylin. Makenna is 3 (soon to be 4) and Rebekah loves to play with her. Sooooo, Makenna and Bekah had themselves a slumber party. I was a little nervous about her being away....she's been getting into my bed everynight for quite awhile. She's really been missing her daddy...she's asks to call him 2 and 3 times a day. So, I wasn't sure how she would do. Well, it ended up that I was worried for nothing!! Ha ha! I don't think she remembered she had a mama!! lol Which is good cause she had a great time. They watched Dora and then got stories read to them. Then they got to have flashlight time...which was about 15 min. or so of laying in bed with flashlights. Then it was lights out....yet they couldn't stop giggling!!! Liz said they giggled till almost 11 pm!! hhhmmm, stayin up late, talking and giggling.....that's what Liz and I do when we get together!!! hhhmm, maybe they will be bff's like us!! I hope so!

Joshua was a little sad that he couldn't spend the night over there too. But I explained that boys don't have sleepovers with girls and vice versa. He did okay after that. But when I put him to bed at 8 pm, he couldn't sleep. I checked on him 2 times and he was still awake. Finally, at almost 10pm (he had school the next day!) I asked him why he wasn't sleeping yet? His response? "Now there are 2 people missing from our house." Okay...what do you say to this?? My heart broke. I reminded him that Rebekah would be back tomorrow and that it was going to be okay. He asked to sleep in my bed (which he hardly ever asks). I couldn't help but say yes. He was off and down the stairs. I think he fell asleep quickly then. Poor baby. It seems that the effects of my separation with Del are beginning to manifest themselves in my children now. I am signing them up for Divorce Care 4 Kids class in July for children of parents who are divorced or separated. But that is 2 months away.
I talked to Fidel and he is calling them more often. Just pray for them...I know it's hard for them. I hate to see them in pain...especially when I can't do much about it. Ugh!!! Again, I must remember...I can't control the actions of others...I can only mind my actions and do what I can to help the kids through this difficult time.

This morning, I couldn't find my purse. I looked in the 2 places I leave it and it was nowhere. Did I leave it in the car? No. Where was my purse? This is very unusual for me....I am able to find my stuff almost always and very rarely lose things. So, I asked the kids if they knew where my purse was. Josh spoke up. "I found it." "Where is it?" "It's in my bedroom. I put it in my room last night. It's between my bed and the window." "Josh, why did you take my purse? And why did you take it to your room??" His response..."Mommy, you know I like to call Daddy." He had taken my purse to his room last night and hidden it so he could call his daddy from his bedroom. I had taken the phone out of my purse when I got home, so he obviously learned that my phone wasn't in there. aaawww, poor guy. I told him not to do that anymore. Again, my heart broke.

But in general, it's ok. Those are just a few of our life's moment's recently. Some funny and cute, some serious and sad. I just tell myself :

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change
The courage to change the things I can
And the wisdom to know the difference.

AMEN!!

It was a great day!

Today was a great day. =) This afternoon, the kids and I headed off to Flags to process their Season Passes. Thanks to my great father in law and my patient brother -in-law who went with us to process them (even though they themselves couldn't go in the park.) While we waited for some paperwork to go through, I got to take first Noah --my 1 yr old nephew and then Leyena in to the park to ride the carousel. It was fun. The kids and I came back out to the park and we brought Leyena with us. =) It was fun!

This was the rig ride. Josh and Leyena rode up front and Rebekah rode in the back.

I love my little princess! This was in the little ferris wheel.

Rebekah wanted to take my picture.

The 3 cousins up in the ferris wheel.

My niece Leyena is soo cute!! We had a lot of fun together. =)

They spun that little tea cup so much!!!

This ride was one of those tea cup like rides--except it was shaped like hot air ballons and it went up in the air. Anyways, the ride hadn't even begun and the kids started spinning it. (Josh is holding the wheel) I was taking pics and all of a sudden....my age caught up with me. I started yelling, "stop spinning it! stop spinning!!" I was going to vomit....needless to say. I was the party pooper. =) They weren't happy about it. However, when I said they could stop spinning or we'd go home cause I was going to throw up...Josh quickly switched gears and held the wheel IN PLACE so it wouldn't spin. He didn't want to go home!!! lol

Leyena was tired of me saying "say cheese" for another picture.

Swing time!

I believe he was trying to do the Superman pose. His poor feet were dragging the ground at times. I think he's outgrown this ride!!

A nice group shot. Except Josh is doing is funny smile! We bought a tub of popcorn...it was a great deal. For $9 we got the tub of popcorn and then got free refills on it for the rest of the day. You could choose between popcorn refill or cotton candy refill. Well, we ate the WHOLE tub of popcorn.....Leyena stayed with the popcorn until it was gone. She was funny. After we finished it we refilled it with cotton candy and ate a whole bag of it!! We refilled it before we left so Leyena and the kids could have a bag to take home. Whenever we go back in 2009, refills for that tub are only 99cents! Sweet deal!

I have more pictures from today on my facebook. http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=77674&id=568743270&saved#/album.php?aid=77674&id=568743270&ref=mf I believe that link will take you to the album. It is not very easy to load pics and put captions beside them. I have to keep rearranging and editing. Maybe I should load all the pics first and then write the blog....I don't know.

Now I am tired. It's almost 11 and I have been doing this for about an hour.

Anyway, good day. I had fun with the kids. We laughed, stuffed ourselves, laughed some more and rode a lot of rides. =)

Tomorrow is Mother's Day. I am SO thankful that I can spend the day with one's I love...and that I will get to wrap my arms around my mom and tell her I love you. She is such a huge blessing in my life. I love her so much. She is such a great example of what being a mother is all about...sacrifice, unconditional love, encouragement. My mom has been a shoulder to lean on, a laugh when I need it, a place to run to when I was homeless, and so much more. Thank you, Mom for all you've done and all you are......I love you.

In thinking of my mom, I also think of my mother-in-law. I miss her so much. It's been 3 years since I spent a mother's day with her. I know she is in a far better place than here on earth....and truth be told, there's a part of me that is glad she hasn't had to see what's happened since she went to be with Jesus. But then I also think of the things she has missed out on. Joshua is in 1st grade this year...a grade she taught for like 12 years. It was her favorite grade and I know she would have loved to be here with him during this year. Rebekah starts kinder in the fall. Leyena, my niece just turned 3. And mom was able to be here for her birth, but she never got to see LeyLey's brother Noah, who is a year now. Anyway, the list goes on....I just miss her. That's all. She was a sweet woman and I can't wait to see her again in Heaven.

Happy Mother's Day to all the moms.

Good night and God bless.

The dress...

Remember the dress I told you Rebekah wouldn't wear the other day? I found a picture of her in it last year. It's a side view...but you get a pretty good idea. Now why wouldn't she want to wear this cute dress? =)

My little girl is growing up...

Today, my daughter and I crossed over a new threshhold in growing up and gaining independence. My daughter is every bit a girly girl. She loves to wear dresses and almost every morning when I am pulling out her clothes for the day she requests to wear one (whether it's hot or cold outside....it matters not!)

So today is Cinco de Mayo. I have this cute little Mexican dress I bought for her a few years ago specifically for Cinco de Mayo. It's white and frilly. Anyways, I pulled it out of the closet today in honor of the holiday and my daughter took one look at it and said, "I don't want to wear that dress." What??? How can she not want to wear it? I reminded her that she likes dresses and this one was a special dress. Her response? "People will look at me funny if I wear that dress!" What?!? I laughed and said no one would, that in fact they would think she is so cute. She wasn't buying. I tried to put it on her anyway..I'm the mom, right? She pulled and tugged at it and kept saying she didn't want to wear it. I couldn't force her to wear it...especially when she was concerned about looking silly.

So, for the first time, we move from suggestions of what she can wear to now she has an opinion and feelings about what she wears. Don't get me wrong, ultimately I still give the ok on what she will or will not wear.....but now I am beginning to realize how much independence my daughter is seeking to gain. The butterfly is stretching her wings......

I don't know whether to smile...or cry. lol.....our children grow so fast.